#6 A Dream Date with Myself

What's the worst date you've ever been on? Mine involved being taken to an Italian restaurant where my date proceeded to order lasagna and then act astounded that it was full of dairy products when it arrived to the table. He was lactose intolerant. I am too, buddy. But I'm also Italian. And I know that lasagna has lots of cheese in it. There's no way it would have worked between us. Don't worry, he also presented with a few more serious red flags, so I wasn't being too harsh. But damn... cheese is an important part of my life.

When it came to generating ideas for my list of scary things, some things were instant options and others took a while longer to brew. Now, let me set the scene for this scary thing. It was a day where I was feeling particularly low. The holidays were coming. Romance was in the air. I was in a MOOD. And it felt like everywhere I looked I saw an adorable couple out on a date. It was probably only about 3 or 4 times, but listen, I swear, it was EVERYWHERE. As much as I identify as a strong, independent woman, of course a part of me secretly hoped to be wined and dined and made to feel special. I want to be chosen, fully and forever. But then it hit me. The only person who I can with 100% certainty say will be in my life for the rest of my life is me. Why was I waiting around for a man to appear to take me on a dream date? With an attitude adjustment a la Iris from the movie The Holiday, I pulled out some gumption and decided that I was the leading lady of my life and I that I deserved to have a beautiful evening out enjoying myself.

I started with getting ready. I got dressed in a favorite outfit. One that wasn't for anyone else but myself. It was what made me feel good. Then I did my hair and makeup. Not to impress a man, but for myself. As I fastened my necklace and spritzed some perfume I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A hint of joy was looking back at me. I smiled to myself and set off on my evening.

When it comes to dates, my favorites include wandering a museum hand in hand, exploring an antique shop, walking through the woods (make sure you trust the person before wandering into said woods with them), and cooking together. I like when things have some thought behind them. I like when you are free to talk and discuss different topics. I want to learn who the person is. I appreciate getting to express myself and paying attention to how another person expresses themself.

Because riveting conversation with myself wasn't exactly on the agenda, I chose the perfect solo date. First, I went to a favorite restaurant and enjoyed a meal ALL BY MYSELF. Listen, this can be awkward as all get out, but once you get past it, it's actually kind of nice. Then came the activity part of the evening. I picked my favorite bookstore and wandered in. I was free to take as long as I wanted to while browsing each aisle of literary fun. I was enjoying my own company and all it required was showing up for myself in the way I wanted someone else to.

I ended up purchasing a few books of poetry and a calendar for the upcoming year. As I left the bookstore and walked to my car, a crisp chill in the early winter air, I reflected upon the two options I had had that evening. I could have stayed home, wallowing in my singleness or I could get dolled up and have a beautiful evening. I'm so glad I chose the latter. Joy shouldn't be reserved for coupledom. Joy is meant to be soaked up whenever and however we can get it. It is possible to be single and joy-filled.

So scary thing #6? Not actually so scary. In fact, I even fell in love that night. With myself. With the woman I am. The woman I am becoming. The woman who isn't waiting around for Mr. Right to go out and live her life. And if there is a Mr. Right for me out there, I hope he's doing the same thing as I am right now. Living his life. Appreciating the joy. Going on adventures. Adding things to our future list of topics to talk about.

So, dear friend reading this, the next time you find yourself home alone, wishing you had a best friend who loved you to take you out for an evening of fun, remember, that person is there. Just look in the mirror.

Enthusiastically,

Marina